Do you remember your first kiss?

Do you remember your first kiss?
Do you remember your first kiss?

Tuesday, 19 April 2011

What to do when the Jolly Wallies come knocking

It’s an age old problem isn’t it? What to do when the Jehovah’s Witnesses come knocking at your door. I, being the sort of person that has too much spare time on their hands, usually invite them in for a coffee and a chat. I look forward a great deal to these great theological arguments but the problem is that they and I are at the polar opposite ends of the theological spectrum so finding any common ground to even start the conversation is difficult.

“What evidence is there that god exists” I say, and then have to sit back in glazed amusement as my visitors trot out some verbatim repetition from some old book written 2,000 years ago which, apparently establishes the existence of a deity without any room for doubt or dissent.

“But could you point me to the evidence” say I, wildly waving my arm in the general direction of the outside world. But of course, we are miles apart, my visitors and I, so we have to part company reluctantly a few hours later, neither side having made any headway at all against the other’s intransigence.

My friend has hit upon a much more fun and interesting procedure.

“Do come in” he says delightedly as they wave a copy of The Watchtower under his nose. “We have much to discuss. Would you like a drink?”

His guests usually concur that a drink would be fine and having sat them in his lounge, he disappears into the kitchen, returning shortly with glasses for his guests.

“What’s this?” they ask nervously, after smelling the contents of the glass.

“It’s a cup of bleach” he says, smiling in a manner of someone who knows how to welcome a person with very strong religious beliefs into his house. “You are surely familiar with “Mark Chapter 16, verse 18”

they will pick up snakes with their hands; and when they drink deadly poison, it will not hurt them at all; they will place their hands on sick people, and they will get well.”

“Oh no” they say, horrified. “That part’s not to be taken literally”.

And then the conversation can really get going!